The Friend-Zone
FRIEND-ZONE!!!Have you been there? I just hope you haven’t because it is the craziest zone you can ever crash into. For a girl, its a nappy place, having a guy to sit with and talk to about anything, that’s absolutely fantastic. But for a guy, it is the worst place to be especially when he likes the girl.
Recognizing You’re In The Friend Zone:
The Friend Zone is a very interesting place to say the least. The Friend Zone like being trapped in a lesbian bar you can look all you want but you ain’t getting a whiff of that pussy my nigga. When you meet a chick you gotta stay alert so you don’t trip up and land in the friend zone.
Here’s a few situations where you can tell you’re in the friend zone. She got a boyfriend and you trying to get that side nigga box, I see you *daps* but every time you try to make a move she hit you with that “Stoppppp you like a brother to me” Brah you so deep in the friend zone you her Maid of Honor.
Or if y’all be texting and you try to turn the conversation sexual with a “��������” and she tell you she’ll text you later and she text you later changing the subject you never gone taste her brah. If you’re “like a brother” to her you’re gonna find yourself being texted for relationship advice.
If you actually reply to those text you are a better man than me. You probably gonna find yourself in malls holding bags for her or telling her if those jeans make her ass look big.
Meanwhile her boyfriend at his sidebitch house playing Madden 25. Back in high school you went over to her house and her parents didn’t even trip when y’all closed the door? Smh poor soul, parents prolly thought you was gay you was so deep in the friend zone. The beautiful thing about the friend zone tho is you can’t be in it if you ain’t that good friend.
You been tryna see what shorty taste like for a awhile now.. But she ain’t even let you get a whiff of it. You realize you’re in hell aka the friendzone. You got 2 choices, get the fuck up outta there or keep letting her call you her “brother.” Only a lame would accept this and stay in it… Now you’re probably asking, how do I get out of this?
Try dropping a few hints here & there that platonic friendship really isn’t what you’re looking for cause you’re not a homosexual. Usually ladies will try to laugh this off and say “You so crazy.” After that move on to the next step, which is not showing the bitch attention. You texting her back mad fast while the boyfriend ain’t texted her in 3 days. Coincidence? I think not man. Just let her text you first, text back, & when she texts again don’t even respond. Everybody knows the longer it takes you to reply, the quicker she’ll let you get knee deep in them guts. Now if that don’t work, try chilling with her friends.. Women are jealous & emotional creatures. If she notices you heyboo’n her best friend she gonna get possessive cause even though she won’t even let you smell the box you still “her’s.” This makes no God damn sense at all! After trying these 3 easy tasks, you should have effectively juked ya way out the friendzone… But if not, just text her and tell her you wanna eat her out. She either gonna let you or call you a creep, but at least you won’t be that queer in the friendzone.
Avoiding The Friendzone:
Now u see how to detect the friend zone and how to escape it. Time to show u guys how to avoid it altogether. Avoiding the friend zone is a crutial skill all men (and women alike) should have.
The friend zone is sorta like So So Def Records nothing good has ever come from it.
The first thing u need to do to avoid the “Bestie” zone is let her know your intentions up front. Im not saying text her “hey i wanna beat” but sometimes u have to text the girl “hey i want to beat” Critical gem: DONT LET HER TALK TO YOU ABOUT PROBLEMS WITH NO OTHER GUYS. i don’t care who it is. If she text you talking bout “my Bf is in the hospital” text back “chill girl u know i ain’t tryna hear u talk about no other guys except for me” Best Friends give relationship advice, I Don’t.
Remember you don’t have to be nice to her.. Matter fact not being nice is in your best interest. Ever heard the saying “nice guys finish last?” Well this phrase was coined and created by light skin women and has seemed to be embraced by them all.. So don’t be that guy.
Another thing to keep in mind is she is a women and she doesn’t know what she wants. So leaving the decision up to her on what your relationship status with her is… not a good idea. See it’s a well known fact that women are as indecisive as Dwight Howard during free agency.
Example: You ever get the girl and then she try to Friend-zone you? I have and trust me its one of the most confusing conversations you will ever have. This is a classic h** move though this like the Kansas City Shuffle for h***. And your best bet is to count your losses my guy let her go… If she want a friend she can use her imagination. So all in all be assertive… Don’t give any relationship advice.. And cut the nice guy act and you too can stay friend zone free.
Here are Some Major Key-Notes
- TEXT HER AND DON’T CALL, DON’T EVEN CALL HER BY ANY CUTE TERMINOLOGY AND DON'T DROP ANY COMPLIMENTS, JUST STAY NEUTRAL.
- IF SHE CALLS YOU A FRIEND OR BROTHER JUST IGNORE IT AND DON'T SIT AROUND THINKING ABOUT HER, MAKE PLANS ON HOW TO GET THAT BOOTY FOR YOURSELF!
- TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL: this could be really difficult but you just have to man up and tell her how you feel.it could help her realise and also decide if she wants to loose you or keep you as a boyfriend!
- IF IT FAILS TRY MOVING ON AND DON’T LET HER HOLD YOU BACK
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